July 4th can be a beautiful holiday to celebrate for some, but for those suffering from PTSD, especially war related PTSD, can be painful and miserable.
Now, before I continue, I haven’t ever been in the military, let alone a war, nor do I have PTSD.
So I’m sitting in the back of my mother’s truck with her, watching the fireworks go off all around us. As a howler went off, I remembered that veterans and sufferers of PTSD may not be able to enjoy the show to due their traumas. They could be having flashbacks, or lingering on the verge of breaking down in their own homes.
The thought of this made me sad honestly, and for whatever reason, I think I had a flashback. A war related flashback.
I’m not sure how to transition into this smoothly, so I’m just going to go for it: in my flashback, I was in the person’s head. I know it wasn’t my memory, because I’ve never been anywhere near a war ground, and I was associating names with faces that I’d never seen before, calling out to injured and dying soldiers, some of whom were my friends. Or the friends of whoever’s flashback that was.
It was so real though; bullets were flying past me, I could feel the humidity in the air, hear the screams of people around me, dying. Is my brain playing tricks on me, or did some part of my actually experience that memory?